Ok I found the solution:
postscreen was finding my client ip in postscreen_dnsbl_sites zen.spamhaus.org=127.0.0.[10;11]*8
given that I am using dialup at home.
This in turn lead to log message (ip changed for privacy)
mailcowdockerized-postfix-mailcow-1 | Feb 19 14:16:58 67578d8c0856 postfix/postscreen[349]: DNSBL rank 8 for [::dead:beef::]:61071
It gave me no hint that the configured value for rejecting a mail is set in postscreen_dnsbl_threshold to 6.
Removing that host from the dnsbl list fixed this for me. So yes, I will have SMTP connections from dialup until I have all clients use Port 587 for SMTP AUTH connections.